Promo Swag Du Jour: MONSTERS T-shirts and gasmask

When a really heavy FedEx envelope came to me the other day after three attempted deliveries, I was hoping for DVDs. I was not expecting what I got.

Like a warped Christmas present from Jack Skellington, it was layers of unwrapping disturbing things. On the outside, two T-shirts for the movie MONSTERS, a low-budget DISTRICT 9 wannabe that I did not care for, in which giant outer-space octopi on the Mexican border serve as an on-the-nose metaphor for illegal aliens. Also, you don't even see the monsters much. Everything good in the film is cribbed from either DISTRICT 9 or SPLINTER.

Unwrapping the shirts revealed a military-looking mini-satchel. And inside that, well...see below:


That's right. A gas mask. Seemingly a fully-functioning one, too, complete with instructions on how to assemble, and what to do if it's defective (by the time you figure that out, I reckon you're already a goner).

I just have to wonder -- did this not raise any red flags at all? Did folks at Magnolia really think through the implications of sending out a bunch of gas masks via FedEx?

Ah well. Now I can get to work on that Paddy-Considine-in-DEAD-MAN'S-SHOES Halloween costume I've always wanted to make.

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