The Oregon Ducks are @#$%-ed, Courtesy of Jeremiah Masoli (Now With 911 Audio!)
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Mar 16 2010, 9:03 PM
When Oregon Ducks and Pac 10 rock star Jeremiah Masoli and his teammate Garrett Embry were on the market for a guitar, two laptops, and a high-def projector, they did what any young, promising, and enterprising college athlete would do: They went to Best Buy, applied for cards, and purchased the goods, to be paid off by alumni, of course...
Oh, wait...
Sorry, I'm confused by the sheer cement-brained thinking at work here. That's what they should have done. Instead, these two intrepid young men decided to heist the gear from one Max Wolfard's room in the Sigma Alpha Epsilon frat house. They actually passed Max on the stairs on their way out of his room carrying his stuff. Big mistake, big shots. You didn't know about Max Wolfard. Max doesn't play games. Max picks up the phone, dials 911, and makes sure justice is served up, and just the way he likes it: Ice cold. Embry got punted off the team like bad field position about a month ago for an unrelated beef, but as a result of this incident Masoli got bounced for the entire 2010 season, severing hobbling the Ducks going in. Some highlights from the call:
Walford: There were two men, one's name is Garrett Embry and the other was Masoli.
911 Operator: Who was the other one?
Walford: Masoli. I'm not...(friend in background: "Jeremiah Masoli") Jeremiah Masoli.
Friend in background: He fucking stole your computer?
911 Operator: Can you spell Jeremiah's last name?
Wolfard: M-A-S-O-L-I...like the football player.
Wolfard: “I caught the man in the action. They had no permission to be in the house, no permission to be in my bedroom, no permission to be with my belongings.”
Wolfard: “One of them is a football player who is very easily recognizable, Jeremiah Masoli, and the other one, I know someone — is another football player whom my roommate recognizes.”
Wolfard: “I was walking up the stairs and they were walking down the stairs with my possessions.”
Here's the audio of Max dropping a dime:
Better luck in 2011, Duckos.
When Oregon Ducks and Pac 10 rock star Jeremiah Masoli and his teammate Garrett Embry were on the market for a guitar, two laptops, and a high-def projector, they did what any young, promising, and enterprising college athlete would do: They went to Best Buy, applied for cards, and purchased the goods, to be paid off by alumni, of course...
Oh, wait...
Sorry, I'm confused by the sheer cement-brained thinking at work here. That's what they should have done. Instead, these two intrepid young men decided to heist the gear from one Max Wolfard's room in the Sigma Alpha Epsilon frat house. They actually passed Max on the stairs on their way out of his room carrying his stuff. Big mistake, big shots. You didn't know about Max Wolfard. Max doesn't play games. Max picks up the phone, dials 911, and makes sure justice is served up, and just the way he likes it: Ice cold. Embry got punted off the team like bad field position about a month ago for an unrelated beef, but as a result of this incident Masoli got bounced for the entire 2010 season, severing hobbling the Ducks going in. Some highlights from the call:
Walford: There were two men, one's name is Garrett Embry and the other was Masoli.
911 Operator: Who was the other one?
Walford: Masoli. I'm not...(friend in background: "Jeremiah Masoli") Jeremiah Masoli.
Friend in background: He fucking stole your computer?
911 Operator: Can you spell Jeremiah's last name?
Wolfard: M-A-S-O-L-I...like the football player.
Wolfard: “I caught the man in the action. They had no permission to be in the house, no permission to be in my bedroom, no permission to be with my belongings.”
Wolfard: “One of them is a football player who is very easily recognizable, Jeremiah Masoli, and the other one, I know someone — is another football player whom my roommate recognizes.”
Wolfard: “I was walking up the stairs and they were walking down the stairs with my possessions.”
Here's the audio of Max dropping a dime:
Better luck in 2011, Duckos.
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