Seven WTF Toys Of Toy Fair
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Feb 17 2010, 8:02 PM
Aww…how cute…lightsabers for babies. Your little padawan will have a ball recreating his favorite scenes from “Star Wars” with the…wait…those are chopsticks?
Well that’s …uh…something? Let’s start over. Strike fear into the heart of California rolls everywhere with Kotobuyika’s lightsaber chopsticks in your choice of Darth Vader, Darth Maul, Yoda, Mace Windu, or Luke Skywalker (from Episode V or VI).
Never before have so many bricks come together to cause me to lose so much sleep. Fortunately this jagged monstrosity is not for sale as it was specially created to commemorate Pixar Head John Lasseter’s induction into the Toy Hall of Fame.
But that doesn’t mean one of my a**hole friends won’t figure out a way to craft one of these things and leave it outside my bedroom window.
Sure, you want to be blasphemous and save money, but who has the time to do both? Fortunately the good folks at Rocket USA were nice enough to come up with these banks to help you multitask.
Both the son of God who died for your sins and the man who led the Hebrews out of Egypt stand twelve inches tall and are available in a variety of colors.
www.rocketusa.com
Just what you’ve always wanted, a bedside lamp with a drinking problem.
Best of all, when you head off to work this lamp/MP3 speaker/clock combo is sure to sleep with your girlfriend.
www.funko.com
Remember when your mom told you not to sit too close to the TV or you’d go blind? Clearly the As Seen On TV hat was not created by anybody’s mother.
Available in your choice of hat or visor, this stylish chapeau will hold your iPod or iPhone a few inches from your face. And, the flaps on this side will keep your neighbors from getting a peek at your porn viewing habits.
www.asseenontvhat.com
Most of the things on this list are here because they’re bizarre; this item is here because it’s going to cost me money. Now that Diamond Select is making a full-size light-up sign like the one that hung outside the Ghostbusters headquarters, I’m going to have to figure out how I’m going to buy a whole fire station. Thanks, jerks.
www.diamondselecttoys.com
One of the best things about wandering the aisles at Toy Fair is when you get away from the big-name vendors and discover the designers that are taking a shot with their million-dollar idea. The folks behind Norman PhartEphant are banking on a gaseous pachyderm.
Yes, squeeze Norman’s tail and he’ll release one of eight different “Pharts.” It’s not all potty humor though, the picture book that tells Norman’s tale teaches kids about geography, manners, and how a new diet can wreak havoc with your gastrointestinal system.
www.phartephant.com
Gordon Holmes is the wrestling correspondent for Comcast.net’s SlamCast wrestling coverage and the “Survivor” correspondent for Fancast.com. Hewas also trained to take a beating by WWE Hall of Famer Afa “The Wild Samoan” Anoa’i. Follow Gordon on Twitter (because he is a whore for followers.)
Aww…how cute…lightsabers for babies. Your little padawan will have a ball recreating his favorite scenes from “Star Wars” with the…wait…those are chopsticks?
Well that’s …uh…something? Let’s start over. Strike fear into the heart of California rolls everywhere with Kotobuyika’s lightsaber chopsticks in your choice of Darth Vader, Darth Maul, Yoda, Mace Windu, or Luke Skywalker (from Episode V or VI).
Never before have so many bricks come together to cause me to lose so much sleep. Fortunately this jagged monstrosity is not for sale as it was specially created to commemorate Pixar Head John Lasseter’s induction into the Toy Hall of Fame.
But that doesn’t mean one of my a**hole friends won’t figure out a way to craft one of these things and leave it outside my bedroom window.
Sure, you want to be blasphemous and save money, but who has the time to do both? Fortunately the good folks at Rocket USA were nice enough to come up with these banks to help you multitask.
Both the son of God who died for your sins and the man who led the Hebrews out of Egypt stand twelve inches tall and are available in a variety of colors.
www.rocketusa.com
Just what you’ve always wanted, a bedside lamp with a drinking problem.
Best of all, when you head off to work this lamp/MP3 speaker/clock combo is sure to sleep with your girlfriend.
www.funko.com
Remember when your mom told you not to sit too close to the TV or you’d go blind? Clearly the As Seen On TV hat was not created by anybody’s mother.
Available in your choice of hat or visor, this stylish chapeau will hold your iPod or iPhone a few inches from your face. And, the flaps on this side will keep your neighbors from getting a peek at your porn viewing habits.
www.asseenontvhat.com
Most of the things on this list are here because they’re bizarre; this item is here because it’s going to cost me money. Now that Diamond Select is making a full-size light-up sign like the one that hung outside the Ghostbusters headquarters, I’m going to have to figure out how I’m going to buy a whole fire station. Thanks, jerks.
www.diamondselecttoys.com
One of the best things about wandering the aisles at Toy Fair is when you get away from the big-name vendors and discover the designers that are taking a shot with their million-dollar idea. The folks behind Norman PhartEphant are banking on a gaseous pachyderm.
Yes, squeeze Norman’s tail and he’ll release one of eight different “Pharts.” It’s not all potty humor though, the picture book that tells Norman’s tale teaches kids about geography, manners, and how a new diet can wreak havoc with your gastrointestinal system.
www.phartephant.com
Gordon Holmes is the wrestling correspondent for Comcast.net’s SlamCast wrestling coverage and the “Survivor” correspondent for Fancast.com. Hewas also trained to take a beating by WWE Hall of Famer Afa “The Wild Samoan” Anoa’i. Follow Gordon on Twitter (because he is a whore for followers.)
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