Ultimate Warrior Returns Again Online, w/Sh*t-Ton of New Merchandise
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May 26 2010, 1:05 AM
The man known as "Warrior" may not have been part of the WWE Hall of Fame class of 2010, but the realization that he could have been appears to have sparked off a website revamp and a bunch of new deals.
Some background: For the past few years, Warrior, whose legal name really is just the one word "Warrior," has maintained a website, on which he has frequently discussed his unique brand of social-Darwinist, libertarian politics that aren't too far off from Conan the Barbarian's personal philosophy.
He has also frequently claimed to have moved on from wrestling, and the site used to feature a disclaimer that it was not about his wrestling career. But things appear to have changed.
In-the-know fans are aware that there was some talk of Warrior being a WWE Hall of Fame inductee this year. Warrior says he turned down the offer due to Vince McMahon's refusal to apologize for the "Self Destruction of the Ultimate Warrior" DVD, noting that either the DVD or the Hall of Fame offer must be a joke, as the two are mutually exclusive -- either Ultimate Warrior is hall-of-fame worthy, or a self-destructive loser, but not both.
This prompted Ted DiBiase, who ultimately was the main inductee, to comment that Warrior didn't deserve to be in the Hall of Fame. Rarely at a loss for words, the Ultimate One has fired back with a new online commentary that takes particular aim at DiBiase's newfound role as a minister. Some samples:
Teddy, you have to lay off the lard, man. Apparently, you believe we all
gargle with Krispy Kreme batter like you do and have brains so
suffocated in fat that we can’t see clearly and think properly. You
wonder for the life of you who do I think I am? Really? Who do I
think I am? Serious? What, do you have those circus mirrors in your
house? You know, the ones that distort your image. Or is your delusion
natural? Cause I think people would be much more amused to know: who do
you think you are? Didn’t it cross your mind for even a second, when you
made the snidely remarks you did, that listeners would stop and think,
“you gotta be f’ing kidding me, who does this Dibiase guy think he is?”...
On the physical level alone, let’s be serious, you were an
undisciplined, fat tub of shit when you were in the business and you are
a more undisciplined, even fatter tub of shit now. For Christsakes,
Teddy, you sweat grease. Any man who has cellulite on the back of their
thighs — as you did even in your best days in the business — is a fat
tub of shit. Period. Isn’t gluttony another one of the Seven Deadly
sins? As a man of God, aren’t you at least supposed to try to not be a
pig?...
It’s interesting, for being such a ring general as you fancy yourself to
be, there’s no list of all-time great matches with your name or gimmick
on it. Not anywhere. Ultimate Warrior shows up more than once on quite a
few. Fifteen minutes after you left the business, thoughts of you
ceased to exist. Fifteen years since Ultimate Warrior’s last time in a
WWF ring, people can’t quit talking about him. Fans can’t remember a god
damn thing about you (unless it’s forced upon them like at the HOF).
The Ultimate Warrior — they can never forget.
The rest is here.
Fans can argue about the merits of Warrior's commentary. DiBiase arguably was a significant part of one of the greatest angles ever -- the Hulk Hogan/Randy Savage "Megapowers" storyline that lasted over a year -- and gimmick-wise, associated with the unforgettable match in which Hogan lost his first title to Andre the Giant. As a wrestler, though, his most notable main event was at WrestleMania IV, in which he was overshadowed by Hogan's interference.
Warrior didn't have a great range of moves, and from a pure wrestling standpoint, was lacking, yet from a "sports-entertainment" perspective, he was great, excelling as a character and a merchandise-mover. Hulk Hogan didn't know a whole lot of moves either, yet no sane fan anywhere would deny that he belongs in a wrestling Hall of Fame.
But not being officially inducted hasn't stopped Warrior from unleashing a ton of new merchandising deals that capitalize on his former WWF success. Exclusive T-shirts for Urban Outfitters and Hot Topic are part of the deal, as well as multiple new shirts from Merch Connection, Inc.
This one is my personal favorite:
Oh, and Warrior has also added an online art gallery, where you can see his paintings of American Indians and Ronald Reagan.
Yes, really.
More on Geekweek
The man known as "Warrior" may not have been part of the WWE Hall of Fame class of 2010, but the realization that he could have been appears to have sparked off a website revamp and a bunch of new deals.
Some background: For the past few years, Warrior, whose legal name really is just the one word "Warrior," has maintained a website, on which he has frequently discussed his unique brand of social-Darwinist, libertarian politics that aren't too far off from Conan the Barbarian's personal philosophy.
He has also frequently claimed to have moved on from wrestling, and the site used to feature a disclaimer that it was not about his wrestling career. But things appear to have changed.In-the-know fans are aware that there was some talk of Warrior being a WWE Hall of Fame inductee this year. Warrior says he turned down the offer due to Vince McMahon's refusal to apologize for the "Self Destruction of the Ultimate Warrior" DVD, noting that either the DVD or the Hall of Fame offer must be a joke, as the two are mutually exclusive -- either Ultimate Warrior is hall-of-fame worthy, or a self-destructive loser, but not both.
This prompted Ted DiBiase, who ultimately was the main inductee, to comment that Warrior didn't deserve to be in the Hall of Fame. Rarely at a loss for words, the Ultimate One has fired back with a new online commentary that takes particular aim at DiBiase's newfound role as a minister. Some samples:
Teddy, you have to lay off the lard, man. Apparently, you believe we all gargle with Krispy Kreme batter like you do and have brains so suffocated in fat that we can’t see clearly and think properly. You wonder for the life of you who do I think I am? Really? Who do I think I am? Serious? What, do you have those circus mirrors in your house? You know, the ones that distort your image. Or is your delusion natural? Cause I think people would be much more amused to know: who do you think you are? Didn’t it cross your mind for even a second, when you made the snidely remarks you did, that listeners would stop and think, “you gotta be f’ing kidding me, who does this Dibiase guy think he is?”...
On the physical level alone, let’s be serious, you were an undisciplined, fat tub of shit when you were in the business and you are a more undisciplined, even fatter tub of shit now. For Christsakes, Teddy, you sweat grease. Any man who has cellulite on the back of their thighs — as you did even in your best days in the business — is a fat tub of shit. Period. Isn’t gluttony another one of the Seven Deadly sins? As a man of God, aren’t you at least supposed to try to not be a pig?...
It’s interesting, for being such a ring general as you fancy yourself to be, there’s no list of all-time great matches with your name or gimmick on it. Not anywhere. Ultimate Warrior shows up more than once on quite a few. Fifteen minutes after you left the business, thoughts of you ceased to exist. Fifteen years since Ultimate Warrior’s last time in a WWF ring, people can’t quit talking about him. Fans can’t remember a god damn thing about you (unless it’s forced upon them like at the HOF). The Ultimate Warrior — they can never forget.
The rest is here.
Fans can argue about the merits of Warrior's commentary. DiBiase arguably was a significant part of one of the greatest angles ever -- the Hulk Hogan/Randy Savage "Megapowers" storyline that lasted over a year -- and gimmick-wise, associated with the unforgettable match in which Hogan lost his first title to Andre the Giant. As a wrestler, though, his most notable main event was at WrestleMania IV, in which he was overshadowed by Hogan's interference.
Warrior didn't have a great range of moves, and from a pure wrestling standpoint, was lacking, yet from a "sports-entertainment" perspective, he was great, excelling as a character and a merchandise-mover. Hulk Hogan didn't know a whole lot of moves either, yet no sane fan anywhere would deny that he belongs in a wrestling Hall of Fame.
But not being officially inducted hasn't stopped Warrior from unleashing a ton of new merchandising deals that capitalize on his former WWF success. Exclusive T-shirts for Urban Outfitters and Hot Topic are part of the deal, as well as multiple new shirts from Merch Connection, Inc.
This one is my personal favorite:
Oh, and Warrior has also added an online art gallery, where you can see his paintings of American Indians and Ronald Reagan.
Yes, really.
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