Fast Food Review: KFC Boneless Breast Filet

There’s a reason In-N-Out burger is as good as it is.

Beyond the fresh ingredients and Bible-verse cups, I mean. They do one thing well, and they stick to it. They’re so concerned about focusing on that one thing that even though they have variations on it, those are all kept part of a “secret” menu so as not to distract the general public.

Kentucky Fried Chicken used to be the same way. It was all right there in the name: Fried chicken. With 11 herbs and spices in a secret recipe.

I suppose I, of all people, should not complain that they’ve diversified. If fast food chains didn’t introduce new items from time to time, this column wouldn’t last very long, and yes, I thank the fast food deities above for Hot Wings. (I also like the pot pies, but my local branch just discontinued them, which I really hope is not a nationwide or even citywide trend.)

But then came “boneless wings,” which aren’t actually wings by any definition of the word, except for being wing-shaped (sort of). “Boneless wings” are made with breast meat, which is not the same as wing meat, and were created under the illusion that what people like most about wings is their SHAPE. Seriously, y’all. That’s like if I tried to pitch a vegetarian on an In-N-Out burger by calling it a “Veg-less Soyburger.” Okay, not quite. But still silly.

 

Which brings me to KFC’s new Boneless Breast Filet, presumably made in answer to complaints, real or imagined, that fried chicken would be edible if it weren’t for all those off-putting bones. There are two versions – the Original Recipe and the Fiery Grilled. I ordered both in one sitting, but much of my verdict can be applied to either version. So let’s get the difference out of the way first.

Original Recipe is a pliable term in the world of KFC. Sure, we all know what their Original Recipe fried chicken tastes like (“salty uber alles” is one way of putting it), but the chicken strips that are allegedly breaded with Original Recipe don’t taste the same to me at all. The fact that they no longer even do Extra Crispy strips is a gastronomic crime, but then, I’ve been on the Extra Crispy bandwagon since high school, possibly as a subtle form of rebellion against my father, who’s an Original guy through and through, when he’s not enjoying Hardee’s fried chicken instead.

But I’m happy to say that the Original Recipe Boneless Filet tastes like Original Recipe. This might be one of the only things I’m happy to say about it, but there it is.

When it comes to the Fiery Grilled version, I suggest not looking too closely, as you’ll see congealed grease. And I really need to say that black stripes are not necessary to prove your grill credibility. Look at El Pollo Loco -- all flame-grilled. How do I know? Because YOU CAN SEE THE CHICKEN ON THE GRILL. KFC? Who knows. I didn’t see a grill in the place. Was I merely missing something? Or doth the black mark protesteth too much?

As for the chicken pieces themselves – both had a hardness around the edges that cried “overcooked.” The middle part was tasty, but nothing much to write home about, considering that it was far less tasty than an actual fried breast piece complete with bones. And also, am I the only one who enjoys the occasional small bits of liver that cling to a breast’s underside? Maybe, and maybe if you hate that stuff, these filets were designed for you. Plus, you’re a wuss.

I get why fast food fish filets are boneless: fish bones are hard to find, and annoying, and throat-sticky-chokey. Chicken bones are not that hard to deal with, unless they’re in a sandwich and surprise you.

Keep the boneless filets on a bun, with sauce and lettuce. When it comes to stand-alone fried chicken, however, trust in what KFC does best. Even if they don’t.

More LYT Fast Food Reviews may be found at this link