Fast Food Review: McDonald's Mushroom & Swiss Angus Burger

When people learn that I write about fast food, the inevitable follow-up question is what I consider to be the best burger. The answer comes to me quite instantly: I like many, but in general, my favorite fast food burger overall is the Jack-in-the-Box Ultimate Cheeseburger.

Usually, the person asking me has never tasted this particular slice of meaty awesomeness, but has a few ideas of his or her own, and yes, folks, I understand the loyalty to In-N-Out, which does make my favorite fast food fries, but yes, again, I would choose the JITB burger over it. However, I have also heard many of you chime in on behalf of the McDonald’s Angus Third-Pounder.

Now, I had one of these when it first came out, and remember very little about it, but that was on the day I moved to Orange County under fairly stressful conditions (packer/movers who broke much of my toy collection being one significant factor). So I figured maybe, possibly, the Angus deserved another shot at my taste buds. Thus, under much nicer circumstances (lunch with my lady-friend, who likes McD’s a lot more than I do), I went for it again.

Now, y’all know how I roll. I drank a whole Shamrock Shake even though it was too sweet. I’ve ordered the Subway Seafood Sensation BY CHOICE, and finished it. But the mushroom and Swiss Angus defeated me. I could not complete the task. Even at the risk of looking like a total burger bitch in front of my girl.

First, let’s talk about the meat. Dry and crumbly, it was, and didn’t hold together particularly nicely. Indeed, it made me long for the sliced patty in the Mac Snack Wrap. Then we can talk mushrooms – I hope we can agree that these should be tender, rather than slightly...uh...kind of at a loss for words here, but just imagine mushrooms that were cooked well at one point, then left out for a while, and got to be a slightly different texture. Not quite chewy, not quite soft, but something in the nebulous middle-ground between consistencies. Yeah. That.

But that wasn’t the last straw. No, the final straw would be the mayo. I’m talking like a full centimeter thickness of mayo on the top.

And yes, it’s strange that I’d be so averse to this. All mayo needs in order to become something I like is  a tiny tweak – add pickles to make tartar sauce, and spices to become chipotle sauce, add some onion flavor to get Ultimate Cheeseburger sauce, add I-know-not-what and you get Remoulade. But by itself, in a mini tidal wave upon the ocean of not-quite-soft mushrooms, it kicked my ass and my gag reflex. I needed the hot-sauce-spraying watch from UNDERCOVER BROTHER. But McDonald’s isn’t much for anything spicy. Damn white-people food.

The Swiss cheese was okay.

I hate to waste food, since I don’t have a huge amount of disposable income. But I tossed half that burger away with no regrets.

I remember when they first came out, JITB ran competing commercials suggesting, none-too-subtly, that “Angus” actually meant “anus.” That may have been a tad harsh, but just like what generally emerges from the anus, what McDonald’s has done with Angus is simply a waste.

 

More LYT Fast Food Reviews may be found at this link