Boozin' Like Bogey: A Noir-Style Drinking Tour of Los Angeles
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Feb 4 2010, 12:02 PM
When I originally set out publishing Hard-Bullied Comics, one of my key goals was load each issue with classic noir-flavored bonus material, and what better place is there to start than with the booze? It's been a key component to most of my favorite characters, and bars are the setting for many a classic scene both onscreen and on the written page. This tour will hit spots where classic film noir scenes were filmed, where classic hard-boiled literature was created, and a stop in LA's very own Chinatown. Plus, we're going into Super Bowl weekend, and I know a lot of you are going to be hitting the sauce a little harder than usual. This will provide you some cool places to add into your mix of usual stops. So without further ado, I present the Hard-Bullied Drinking Tour of Los Angeles. Raise 'em high:
"I guess it's always a mistake to interfere with a drunk. Even if he knows
and likes you he is always liable to haul off and poke you in the teeth"
-Philip Marlowe, The Long Goodbye, by Raymond Chandler
Now that you've been warned, let's get to it. Any Hard-Boiled Tour of Los Angeles must begin with the most sacred and time-honored of Hard-Boiled traditions: Gettin' a drink. As I began this tour quoting Raymond Chandler, we should start at the joint where he actually wrote his first Philip Marlowe novel The Big Sleep, Musso & Frank Grill. Located at 6667 Hollywood Blvd in Hollywood, CA, Musso and Frank is a Tinseltown institution, having stood in the same location since 1919. Chandler could often be found enjoying a cocktail with the likes of fellow Hard-Boiled luminary Dashiell Hammett and even William Faulkner, who poured his own Mint Juleps behind the bar (and wrote the screenplay for the film version of The Big Sleep starring yet another Musso & Frank regular, Humphrey Bogart). Keep it simple and have a stiff Martini. Vodka or Gin, they make the best in town. If you're not gettin' the vibe inside your bones after taking in the atmosphere (wood paneled walls, old-school career waiters wearing bright red jackets that match the shiney red leather found in the high-walled mahogany booths) at this place, stop now; you're wasting your time.
Musso and Frank back in the day.
Next up, head west on Hollywood Blvd, hang a left on La Brea, turn right on Santa Monica, cast your eyes to the left at the first corner, and you'll see The Formosa Cafe (7156 Santa Monica Blvd), another old-school restaurant/watering hole that's been serving up the sauce since 1934. You will recognize it's interior and exterior from the film L.A. Confidential, where it served as the setting for the infamous "A hooker cut to look like Lana Turner is still a hooker; she just looks like Lana Turner" scene. Switch gears and have a Manhattan, straight up. It'll slow things down in all the right ways for you. Although, they are known for their Mai Thai, so I'll leave the big decisions up to you.
Nicotine-enthusiasts (TM Mark Lisanti) will dig the smoking room out back.
You may have caught a little buzz by now so do the right thing for a change; ditch your heap, grab a cab and head for The Prince. Located just a block south of Wilshire in Koreatown at 3198 W. Seventh St., The Prince was originally called The Windsor back when it opened in 1942. You're here because the "liquid lunch" from Chinatown was shot in the utterly bizarre establishment. Even though it is stated on film that they are to meet at The Brown Derby, it is indeed a red leather-backed booth at The Prince in which Jack Nicholson and Faye Dunaway are seen knocking down afternoon cocktails. In fact, you can sit in that exact same booth. Get there early, ask for the "Chinatown Booth", and slam down a Soju. Trust me: The vibe in this place is absolutely fascinating.
Just look at this place. Watch out, though - Soju is a mother-fucker of a hangover.
You're a very nosy fellow, kitty cat. Huh? You know what happens to nosy fellows?
Huh? No? Wanna guess? Huh? No? Okay. They lose their noses.
Since we hit a place where they filmed a scene from Chinatown, I'd say it's high time we hit the real thing. Head into Chinatown and find a little gem of a bar located on the ground floor of a restaurant called Hop Louie (950 Mei Ling Way). Look for the Wonder Bakery off Broadway, head into the outdoor mall behind it and walk towards the pagoda looming over the entire complex; the entrance is directly below. Built in 1941, and dimly lit with red and blue paper lanterns and Christmas lights, this place is all about the basics, so do yourself a favor: Belly up to the black lacquer bar and order a beer or a high ball while Frank
Sinatra croons from the crackling speaker system.
No shortcuts on this one - You need to discover the interior for yourselves...
To bring this tour full circle, let's head back into Hollywood and hit one of my favorite last stop bars in town, The Frolic Room. Also featured in L.A. Confidential, The Frolic Room was founded in 1930 (then called Frank Fink's), is located about a block east of Hollywood and Vine, adjacent to The Pantages Theater, and is an utterly classic noir hole in the wall. Cheap booze, an eclectic mix of people, a sick Hirschfeld mural opposite the bar, and an incredibly unpredictable jukebox all combine to make this a must on any drinker's to-do list. Warning: The word has been out on this place for a while now, so lines and crowds can be out of control. It's tiny and fills up fast, but it is most definitely worth the effort.
I'm really thirsty. I used to dehydrate as a kid. One time it got so bad my piss came out like snot.
At this point in the evening you should be pretty plastered so do what you need to do to finish the job up strong, but remember what Sinatra used to say when it came to drinking:
"You've gotta know what you can handle"
In other words, make sure you don't go over the top or you're likely to do something abominable you won't remember and have to listen in disbelief as your friends fill you in on your actions the following day. You won't want to believe yourself capable of such despicable behavior, but you'll know goddamn well every horrifying word is true. Lastly, don't be a dick: Have a DD or cab it. Happy Hangovers!
Coming tomorrow: Cocktail recipes. Leaving tomorrow: Your sobriety.
For additional information and amusement, please visit:
When I originally set out publishing Hard-Bullied Comics, one of my key goals was load each issue with classic noir-flavored bonus material, and what better place is there to start than with the booze? It's been a key component to most of my favorite characters, and bars are the setting for many a classic scene both onscreen and on the written page. This tour will hit spots where classic film noir scenes were filmed, where classic hard-boiled literature was created, and a stop in LA's very own Chinatown. Plus, we're going into Super Bowl weekend, and I know a lot of you are going to be hitting the sauce a little harder than usual. This will provide you some cool places to add into your mix of usual stops. So without further ado, I present the Hard-Bullied Drinking Tour of Los Angeles. Raise 'em high:
"I guess it's always a mistake to interfere with a drunk. Even if he knows
and likes you he is always liable to haul off and poke you in the teeth"
Now that you've been warned, let's get to it. Any Hard-Boiled Tour of Los Angeles must begin with the most sacred and time-honored of Hard-Boiled traditions: Gettin' a drink. As I began this tour quoting Raymond Chandler, we should start at the joint where he actually wrote his first Philip Marlowe novel The Big Sleep, Musso & Frank Grill. Located at 6667 Hollywood Blvd in Hollywood, CA, Musso and Frank is a Tinseltown institution, having stood in the same location since 1919. Chandler could often be found enjoying a cocktail with the likes of fellow Hard-Boiled luminary Dashiell Hammett and even William Faulkner, who poured his own Mint Juleps behind the bar (and wrote the screenplay for the film version of The Big Sleep starring yet another Musso & Frank regular, Humphrey Bogart). Keep it simple and have a stiff Martini. Vodka or Gin, they make the best in town. If you're not gettin' the vibe inside your bones after taking in the atmosphere (wood paneled walls, old-school career waiters wearing bright red jackets that match the shiney red leather found in the high-walled mahogany booths) at this place, stop now; you're wasting your time.
Musso and Frank back in the day.
Next up, head west on Hollywood Blvd, hang a left on La Brea, turn right on Santa Monica, cast your eyes to the left at the first corner, and you'll see The Formosa Cafe (7156 Santa Monica Blvd), another old-school restaurant/watering hole that's been serving up the sauce since 1934. You will recognize it's interior and exterior from the film L.A. Confidential, where it served as the setting for the infamous "A hooker cut to look like Lana Turner is still a hooker; she just looks like Lana Turner" scene. Switch gears and have a Manhattan, straight up. It'll slow things down in all the right ways for you. Although, they are known for their Mai Thai, so I'll leave the big decisions up to you.
Nicotine-enthusiasts (TM Mark Lisanti) will dig the smoking room out back.
You may have caught a little buzz by now so do the right thing for a change; ditch your heap, grab a cab and head for The Prince. Located just a block south of Wilshire in Koreatown at 3198 W. Seventh St., The Prince was originally called The Windsor back when it opened in 1942. You're here because the "liquid lunch" from Chinatown was shot in the utterly bizarre establishment. Even though it is stated on film that they are to meet at The Brown Derby, it is indeed a red leather-backed booth at The Prince in which Jack Nicholson and Faye Dunaway are seen knocking down afternoon cocktails. In fact, you can sit in that exact same booth. Get there early, ask for the "Chinatown Booth", and slam down a Soju. Trust me: The vibe in this place is absolutely fascinating.
Just look at this place. Watch out, though - Soju is a mother-fucker of a hangover.
You're a very nosy fellow, kitty cat. Huh? You know what happens to nosy fellows?
Huh? No? Wanna guess? Huh? No? Okay. They lose their noses.
Since we hit a place where they filmed a scene from Chinatown, I'd say it's high time we hit the real thing. Head into Chinatown and find a little gem of a bar located on the ground floor of a restaurant called Hop Louie (950 Mei Ling Way). Look for the Wonder Bakery off Broadway, head into the outdoor mall behind it and walk towards the pagoda looming over the entire complex; the entrance is directly below. Built in 1941, and dimly lit with red and blue paper lanterns and Christmas lights, this place is all about the basics, so do yourself a favor: Belly up to the black lacquer bar and order a beer or a high ball while Frank
Sinatra croons from the crackling speaker system.
No shortcuts on this one - You need to discover the interior for yourselves...
To bring this tour full circle, let's head back into Hollywood and hit one of my favorite last stop bars in town, The Frolic Room. Also featured in L.A. Confidential, The Frolic Room was founded in 1930 (then called Frank Fink's), is located about a block east of Hollywood and Vine, adjacent to The Pantages Theater, and is an utterly classic noir hole in the wall. Cheap booze, an eclectic mix of people, a sick Hirschfeld mural opposite the bar, and an incredibly unpredictable jukebox all combine to make this a must on any drinker's to-do list. Warning: The word has been out on this place for a while now, so lines and crowds can be out of control. It's tiny and fills up fast, but it is most definitely worth the effort.
I'm really thirsty. I used to dehydrate as a kid. One time it got so bad my piss came out like snot.
At this point in the evening you should be pretty plastered so do what you need to do to finish the job up strong, but remember what Sinatra used to say when it came to drinking:
"You've gotta know what you can handle"
In other words, make sure you don't go over the top or you're likely to do something abominable you won't remember and have to listen in disbelief as your friends fill you in on your actions the following day. You won't want to believe yourself capable of such despicable behavior, but you'll know goddamn well every horrifying word is true. Lastly, don't be a dick: Have a DD or cab it. Happy Hangovers!
Coming tomorrow: Cocktail recipes. Leaving tomorrow: Your sobriety.
For additional information and amusement, please visit:
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